Marriages are not fail-proof things. Divorce is becoming increasingly common all over the world, perhaps because they are so easy to arrange, or because we now seem to live in a disposable society. If something doesn’t work anymore, throw it out and get a new one. If you are asked by your spouse for a divorce, there are some things you should consider and things you should do.
Does he/she really mean it?
Some husbands and wives make a habit of demanding a divorce as a way of getting attention. You could pass it off as attention-seeking but you really should sit your spouse down and ask how serious he or she is and what has led them to this.
Look within yourself
Have you been overlooking your own behaviors towards your spouse? Look inside and ask yourself if you have been neglecting him or her for selfish reasons. Perhaps you haven’t noticed yourself doing that, yet the problem has escalated beyond repair.
Can the marriage be saved?
Firstly, do you both want to save the marriage? If so, then counseling is in order, first and foremost. If one wants divorce and the other doesn’t, then the stalemate will have to be resolved one way or another. Counseling is also useful here.
Panic, desperation and fear can set in the moment the word ‘divorce’ is mentioned. The best way to handle it, however, is to behave rationally and thoughtfully. Flying off the handle, threatening suicide or harm to others or running off with the children are all very bad ways to approach the issue. Behave in a civilized manner toward each other, identify the seemingly unsolvable problems and see what can be done to fix them.
If there is no option but divorce, then you each need to see different lawyers to begin proceedings. Depending on where you live, there will be laws involving length of separation plus custody and maintenance. Lawyers are objective and rational and they will help you to understand your position.
Above all, remember that you are two human beings who, some time ago, committed to each other. Apply humanity and understanding wherever possible to try to avoid the marriage degenerating into all-out war in the family.