In the past few months, my parenting life was smooth and without any big challenge.
Life has its way. When you think you are having a good time, it wants to make it even more interesting.
Out of a routine conversation we had yesterday, I accidentally found out that J was lying to me. It’s about school exams. She contradicted herself and I picked it up like a policeman investigating a case.
Here’s the fact: As a parent, when you realize that you child tells a lie, it’s definitely heart-breaking. I am no exception.
Putting aside sadness and disappointment, my wife and I had a very “serious” talk with J while K listening in after dinner.
Long story short, I concluded that I have failed as a parent.
Wait a minute! You mentioned that your daughter lied to you and now you are telling me you have failed as a father? What is going on here?
Let me explain. After the heart-to-heart talk, the crux of the matter is J lied because she worried that I would be scolding her for telling the truth. The whole episode boils down to me being too fierce. I am the cause of what had happened.
Aha… Now I am in the picture. I am partly responsible for why J is being dishonest. If I would have been more diplomatic towards her, this episode would not have had happened.
I admit this is my mistake. And I know too well that this is also my weakness due to my bad-temper nature. I am not going to lie to you that I am a perfect parent. Nobody is.
I have to accept the fact that if your child shies away from telling you what is happening around him, we have failed as a parent. There’s nothing worse than your child not confiding in you. It shows that your child does not trust you. This is the worst thing that can ever happen to a parent.
Learn from my mistake. Don’t let this happen to you. Build the trust and create a safe environment for your child to share good things as well as bad things with you. Don’t be over-critical when he makes mistakes. Love him unconditionally.
It seems like I have some catching up to do.
Although I am not a perfect parent, but I have learned some timeless parenting principles while striving to be a good one.
To find out what they are, check out my “The Nonconformist’s Guide to Parenting.”
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