Helping Parents Succeed
Everything you want to know about raising happy, confident, healthy children.
K just attended his graduation on 23 Nov. He has finished his primary education of 6 years.
Another milestone in life.
Come next year he’s entering secondary school.
His class has proposed to make a T-shirt for the class. Instead of designing and printing t-shirts specifically for the class, as most people normally do, a classmate of K suggested to buy off the rack from Taobao a generic tee as their “class tee.”
Smart girl. [Read more…]
It was not meant to be a Christmas present (call me cheapskate but our family doesn’t practise gift giving on Christmas) but on Dec 21 last year, J finally got her own handphone with a new SIM card on it.
The hardware is a used iPhone passed down to her from her aunt (Thanks to her; it was a relief to my pocket). Before she got her own mobile phone, she used mine to communicate with her friends and classmates. I was the middle-man. All messages for her came through me.
It worked out pretty well, at least for me. She didn’t complain either. I didn’t read her messages but at least I could scan and single out any messages that were not appropriate. It was something like a trial period for J before she was given a smartphone of her own. [Read more…]
K started listening to music not long ago but most of the songs he recommended me I can’t appreciate.
The opposite is also true. He doesn’t appreciate the songs I like when I was in my teens. It’s so boring, he said.
Maybe it’s a sign of generation gap. Or something else. I don’t know. [Read more…]
It’s not an exaggeration if we say J and K grew up with it.
Everyone in the family loves his pork ball noodle. We have been patronizing this particular pork noodle stall for a long time.
So often that we have become friends with the friendly owner.
Whenever we order, without the need to show privilege card, we always end up with a bigger portion of noodles, not to mention extra pork balls.
Sometimes when it’s not packed with customers, the owner sits down with us and has a chat. He likes to joke with K especially. [Read more…]
Here is one truth that I feel we should let our kids understand and practice it. This is important so that they will look at life as it is rather than seeing the world through colored glasses.
So that they know no matter what happens (even the bad ones), they are still okay.
I find this story simple and extremely easy to understand; and it brings out one of the most important truths about life that I am going to share with you.
The story is told by a Buddhist monk whom I have high respect for. Read carefully and find the meaning behind this excellent story so that you can pass on to your child.
Here’s how the story goes:
Five children were playing this Wishing Game. The first one was asked, “If you had a wish what would you want” and the child said, “If I had a wish I would want an ice cream.” She liked ice cream.
The second child who was a little bit older said, “If I had a wish I’d wish for an ice cream factory.” The first child thought that was really clever because if you had an ice cream factory you could get an ice cream whenever you wanted one. Not just one ice cream but hundreds of ice creams.
The third child was asked, “What’s your wish” and he said, “I’d like a billion dollars. Because with a billion dollars I can buy an ice cream factory, a cake factory, a fish and chip shop or whatever else I want, and I could do a lot more”. The first two kids thought, ‘wow! Aren’t we stupid? Why didn’t we have think of that?’ They thought that this young fellow who wished for a billion dollars was a genius.
But the next child when asked what he wished did even better than wanting a billion dollars, he said, “I wish I had three wishes, so that I could wish for an ice cream factory with my first wish, a billion dollars with my second wish, and with my third wish I could wish for another three wishes.” They thought, ‘wow! You can’t do better than that.’ Can you think of a wish that is even better than that – to have three wishes and the third wish is that you can wish for another three wishes?
But the last child did surpass that, he was the Buddha to be, and said, “I wish I had no wishes.”
Isn’t that interesting? Because when you have no more wishes it means that you are completely content. You’re free from all desires. You’re free from all that wanting. You’re free from all feeling of lack, the feeling that somewhere in your life, somewhere in your body, somewhere in your mind, something is missing.
Imagine what it would be like if you had no more wishes, completely happy with whatever comes along, completely happy with this present moment. You don’t wish for it to be anything else. You look at your husband and he’s absolutely perfect. You don’t wish him to change at all. You look at your wife and she’s so beautiful. You don’t wish her to be anything different, neither better nor worse.
No more wishing is going against the grain of modern society isn’t it? We want to have the freedom to have more wishes. We want the freedom to have more choices and more money to express our choices. We want more freedom to express our individuality.
Buddhism says the cleverest child is the child who wishes for no more wishes.
– Ajahn Brahm
For more parenting tips, check out “The Nonconformist’s Guide to Parenting”