Children develop their identity by learning what they like about their environment, their way of dressing, their way of relating to others and the world. For children to develop an identity of their own, parents, the children’s earliest programmers, must sponsor this development of identity. You do this by being aware of your child’s actions and behaviors, and what those tell you about him/her.
For example if your child has a cluttered room, and has to save everything, you probably have a sentimental child that doesn’t like to part with things. If you cleaned your child’s room and threw away “the junk” that they had too much of, you might be ignoring who your child is as a person.
Children, not unlike adults, show their identity in many ways. They show it through the pictures in their room, the friends they associate with, their dress, food choices, activities, etc. They are giving us clues about who they are, as well as taking from us certain things they admire and incorporating those into their identity. Many parents, because of a lack of awareness, forget to ask children important questions that can reveal clues about their child’s belief and value system, and really help instill in them a healthy sense of self.